Ace on the Face But Don’t Get it in My Hair! - 4 Semen Secrets

Though sperm is mainly used for procreation, it can have other benefits to everyday life.

Because You’re Worth it!

In sperm, a crystalline polyamine compound called Spermine can be found. This particular compound is also known as an antioxidant. It is believed to diminish wrinkles, smooth skin and help with taming or preventing acne. A Norwegian company, has synthesised the compounds into a facial cream. According to research, the cream Spermine is 30 times more effective than vitamin E and can delay the ageing process by 20 percent. However, nature's most natural facial cream can cost you a whopping $250.

Give Yourself a Boost

Not only can sperm provide healthy skin, but also it can be used as an anti-depressant. In a recent study, researchers demonstrated that women who were directly exposed to semen were less likely to be depressed. The study stated mood-altering hormones that are present in semen can be absorbed through the vagina. Some of these mood-altering chemicals include, but are not limited to prolactin, a natural anti-depressant; oxytocin, which assist in enhancing one's mood and serotonin, a widely known antidepressant neurotransmitter.

Erm….Tasty!

When it comes to cooking, although semen may be the farthest thing from your mind, according to "Natural Harvest—A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes," semen is very nutritious. The cook book advertises semen as an "inexpensive" ingredient that can give any food an…erm…“interesting twist.”

Cloak and Dagger

Lastly, if by any chance you are in dire need of invisible ink, semen may suffice. During World War I, the British Intelligence Service discovered semen can act as invisible ink. Unlike other chemicals used, semen did not react to means of detection such as iodine vapour.

Unless you are a part of an intelligence group of some kind, invisible ink may not be essential, however if you ever need a facial, Spermine may be a great option. If you don’t want to shell out the dough, perhaps just make it a part of your bedroom routine — after all, waste not, want not!

Becoming a MILF Hunter

Are you on the prowl for an older, more experienced lady who knows what she wants and how to get it? In case you’re new to MILF hunting or simply need a refresher, here’s our guide to wooing your fiery cougar into bed!

Be Good To Her and She’ll Be Good to You

Remember that mature ladies are majestic with much respect for themselves, so treat them with that same level of appreciation and don’t forget for a second that she has those additional years of practice in pulling - she’s much better at it than you are. So if you act like anything less than a gentleman in the way you speak to and treat her, don’t be surprised when you’re kicked to the curb and she goes on to find someone who really does behave like they should toward her.

MILF Locations

Where to find a filthy MILF that will fulfil all your darkest pleasures? There are so many places, from the gym getting their beautiful figures in shape, the local park mingling with other MILFs, to the pub scouting out potential younger lays across the bar. Want to be one of those hot, less experienced men that they bed after eye-fucking across the room? We bet you do!

Please Her in more Ways than One

You’ve bagged your sexy older vixen and you’re in between the sheets, now you need to show your MILF what a raging testosterone-filled bull you are. Don’t hold back, your mature woman doesn’t want a young boy, she wants an enthused, alpha male who knows how to caress her oh so subtly yet bring her to the point of climatic, Earth-shaking pleasure whilst getting what he desires from her also. She wants this man to show her things she’s never seen and please her in ways she’d never imagined. So think outside the box when with your MILF, missionary all night most likely wont cut her mustard!

So remember to exude confidence, allure, respect and display a little awe that’s due for the wondrous females that are mature women. Your older woman will be intriguing not just in the bedroom but in general thanks to her extensive life experience, she will show you things you could only have ever dreamt up from the most sensual pornography and leave the most erotic memories etched in your mind for the rest of your life.

9 Epic Sex Fails That Made Love Hurt - Literally!

We all get used to the occasional bruise, scratch and cramp when it comes to having a good time in the bedroom. They say ‘Love Hurts,’ but sometimes sex lands lovers in A&E. Prepare to cringe and crack up after reading these true, naughty stories. Rubber ball stuck where the sun doesn’t shine anyone? Behold, the wildest sex fails we’ve ever heard.

Wall-Breaking Sex

When a 440lb virgin decided to take things to the next level with his 110lb lover, things tragically ended with him accidentally driving her head right through the room’s sheet-rock wall. The two went to hospital where the female was ultimately told by doctors that she had a concussion. The couple stayed together for a few months after the incident, but have since called it quits.

Safety First

A doctor in india was mystified when a female patient complained of having a serious cough, runny nose and fever for over half a year. She’d been put on various medications, but nothing seemed to help. So, fearing the worst, they ran some hospital tests…and realised she had a condom lodged inside her lungs. Apparently, she’d inhaled it during an ‘act of love’, without actually realising it (how does this happen?). But hey, at least she was having safe sex.

Heart-Stoppingly Good Sex

A young guy and his girlfriend decided to get it on in his grandmother’s basement while she was out of the house. They grabbed a tube of what they thought was lubricant from her well-stocked medicine cabinet. Unfortunately it was nitroglycerin paste, a heart drug that can cause a potentially fatal drop in blood pressure. When Grandma came home, she found the couple unconscious, buck naked, and lying in a rather saucy position. An ambulance was called and they eventually came to after being given oxygen and fluids. So all ended well…other than the look on Grandma’s face!

A Hard Act to Follow

A 20-year-old man - reportedly healthy and sober at the time - was hospitalised with complaints of severe rectal discomfort. A digital examination revealed a hard, stone-like mass, and the patient soon admitted he’d been fooling around with his partner and they had decided to pour concrete mix into…erm…you know where. The concrete was removed and the patient discharged the following day. Moral of the story: don’t…just don’t —well, unless you require a statue for your mantelpiece that will be a feature of intrigue and horror for future house guests.

Not-So-Good Vibrations

Oh those naughty knickers hey! A 33-year-old Welsh housewife was reported to have passed out at a supermarket. The reason? She had been ‘overcome’ by the vibrations of a pair of Naughty Passion Pants she was wearing underneath her clothes. she collapsed against some shelves and banged her head. As she lay there, spectators reportedly could hear the undies still buzzing.

Just…Ouch!

Men with slightly small appendages — just be grateful for what you’ve got. One Malaysian man thought his wasn’t big enough and decided to take drastic action. His solution? Stick his dingaling into a welding nut and try to stretch it. Sadly, he got stuck, Forcing doctors to remove the top layer of penis skin to free it. Yikes!

Definitely the Wrong Tool for the Job

A couple in America decided to ramp up their vibrator by attaching it to a power tool. An electric saw in fact! Ooooooooh nooooooo! The woman had to be rushed to hospital after it cut clean through the plastic toy. Thankfully she made a full recovery and would be unlikely to try that again.

Gotta Have Some Hot Stuff

Ever heard about drunken idiots snorting chilli? We definitely do not recommend doing this, but apparently the burning sensation is painfully intense due to the sensitive skin on the inside of your nose, called mucous membrane, which also lines your lips, ears and…wait for it… the genitals! Well one couple inadvertently spiced up their sex life when the man came home from a night out eating spicy, hot food and then engaged in saucy bedroom antics with his lady, only to accidentally burn her sensitive parts with his tongue.

What’s Up Doc?

A young couple rushed to hospital with this story: During sex the woman had grabbed a medium-sized rubber ball and inserted it into her man’s back door. The ball had become lodged so high in his rectum that they couldn’t get it out. It turned out that the doctor could not either! The doctor paged a surgeon, but whilst waiting for him to arrive, the man began coughing. The ball came flying out of his butt with enough velocity to ping around the room and hit the surgeon right in the forehead just as he came through the door. (I don’t know about anyone else but this one totally cracks me up!)

Most sexual activity ‘comes’ with the risk of something going wrong. Yep, you read that right, there is no such thing as having perfect sex. Just don’t go to these extremes hey folks. Have you ever had a sex-related injury? Tell us about it in the comments.

Deepthroat Secrets Revealed So You Can Give That Porn Star Blow

If the very thought of a phallic object testing your gag reflex makes you want to hurl, but you want to be an apex oral administrator, we’ve got a couple of tips that could make your time spent down there much more pleasurable and also make your oral recipient’s day - woohoo!

Train That Trachea

Practice makes perfect as they say and perhaps, while you’re still at deep-throating rookie level, it would be best to practice your pork sword-swallowing technique on something that isn’t your sexual partner’s member, unless they’re cool with the remnants of your cream cheese breakfast bagel being regurgitated all over their naked crotch that is. If they encourage you to recycle your brekkie onto their exposed genitals then wow, that’s kinky!

Try to get your mouth and throat adjusted to a foreign object being there and tickling your gag reflex area. Get yourself a soft, flexible dildo of the “proper size” so you can practice with it in private at your leisure. Note: NEVER, NEVER, EVER practice on hot dogs, sausages, cucumbers, courgettes, or even peeled bananas – they can break-off in your throat and choke you! Slowly introduce the object to your throat and hold it there gently just when it begins to feel like you’re gonna get your gag on. Don’t push yourself too hard but, as with anything training-wise, you gotta push a little bit to make improvements and get better. Gradually build up your tolerance with your willy-quaffing training. You’re going to be like the Rocky of the sausage slurpers! Ahem should we say...Cocky? Sorry. Bad us.

Sweeten The Deal

There are also a few neat little tricks to reduce deep throat difficulty. Its not all about sticking that thing in there as far as you can and attempting to breathe through your ears for what feels like a small eternity. It is possible to make it easier and dare we say it, thoroughly enjoyable pleasuring someone using your upper penis portal. Try a cough sweet 5 minutes or so prior to enveloping their bits with your gob, the sweet will help reduce sensation at the back of the throat where it’s most sensitive so that you can happily blow their cock without blowing chunks.

Get a Grip

Ok, so the next one sounds a bit peculiar, but gripping your left thumb in your fist can disarm your gag reflex’s defences. It’s basically a case of distracting your brain with an odd sensation so that it doesn’t acknowledge the other strange sensation of a foreign object fighting its way down to your oesophagus (not physically possible but sure it would give your guy an epic ego inflation if he’s anatomy-savvy and heard you trying to moan ‘oh yeah you’re hitting my oesophagus’...(not even entirely sure how you’d accomplish saying that with a mouthful of cock)..anyway, we digress, next tip.

We Nose How

Many people don’t even realise how much they rely on their mouth for breathing until they can’t breath through it anymore. Don’t be a mouth breather and practice inhaling large amounts of air through your hooter. Get used to it in your everyday life and you will find it a very handy talent at times when your mouth is otherwise engaged. Your blowjob buddy will thank you for it, as you won’t have to release their penis every second so you can gasp for air. Breathing through your nose means you can multi-task — convert oxygen into carbon dioxide and keep pleasing that one-eyed mouth guest.

Good luck with your deepthroat training, you will be taking it like a pro in no time! Anyone else have any other tips? Share them in the comments.

Sex in the Morning VS Sex at Night - When is the Best Time to Be Horny?

Blokes tend to wake up feeling amorous, while their partners get in the mood late in the evening - so why can't we synchronise our sex clocks?

So the saying goes, women are from Venus, men are from Mars, right? Well, it turns out that women and men are operating on completely different time zones as well.

According to a lot of research, it has been found that women are most interested in getting steamy between 11pm and 2am, while men are more frisky between 6am and 9am: the average time being 11:21pm for women, and 7:54am for men. Unfortunately, only a whopping 16% of men have been recorded to want sex before they sleep at night.

It doesn’t just come down to a simple: men have morning wood, and women want sex at night. Rather, there is some real science behind why women and men are on such opposite sex schedules, and why their appetites don’t always coincide with one another.

Women and men both produce testosterone, which is the heaviest influence for sex drive in our bodies:

A man produces the most testosterone before he even wakes up in the morning - anywhere between 25%-50% more than any other time throughout the day.

So, as the sun begins to rise, he’s already sending more juice to the engine for hen he opens his eyes.

Ladies, have you ever had mornings where your man’s boner just won’t leave you alone - yet all you can think about is sleep? This is totally normal.: women are at their lowest levels of testosterone in the morning. As the sun begins to go down, woman’s production increases - sadly just as men’s are decreasing. Curse you Mother Nature!!

A woman’s testosterone production also doesn’t fluctuate as severely throughout the day as a man’s does. men’s hormone levels increase and decrease immensely in a twenty four hour period, while women’s levels correlate more closely with their cycles.

Have you ladies noticed that you’re more horny about 2 weeks before your period is on it’s way? Well, here’s why: halfway through your cycle, you’re at your height of testosterone production: up to 30 times higher than at the start.

Another booster for testosterone - whether you are a man or a woman - is getting a sufficient amount of sleep. Sleep deprivation has been proven to significantly lower testosterone levels, simultaneously lowering sex drive.

So, guys, you wanna get some action in the AM? Make sure your lady is getting a good amount of shut-eye. Research shows that getting 5+ hours of sleep will raise a person’s sex drive by around 15%.

The old joke is that ‘Women need a reason to have sex and men just need a place.’ Funny enough, but not surprising by any means, research has concluded that even though men are more randy in the mornings, couples are most likely to have sex at night.

There are benefits to morning sex though, but that’s another article. ;-)