9 Epic Sex Fails That Made Love Hurt - Literally!

We all get used to the occasional bruise, scratch and cramp when it comes to having a good time in the bedroom. They say ‘Love Hurts,’ but sometimes sex lands lovers in A&E. Prepare to cringe and crack up after reading these true, naughty stories. Rubber ball stuck where the sun doesn’t shine anyone? Behold, the wildest sex fails we’ve ever heard.

Wall-Breaking Sex

When a 440lb virgin decided to take things to the next level with his 110lb lover, things tragically ended with him accidentally driving her head right through the room’s sheet-rock wall. The two went to hospital where the female was ultimately told by doctors that she had a concussion. The couple stayed together for a few months after the incident, but have since called it quits.

Safety First

A doctor in india was mystified when a female patient complained of having a serious cough, runny nose and fever for over half a year. She’d been put on various medications, but nothing seemed to help. So, fearing the worst, they ran some hospital tests…and realised she had a condom lodged inside her lungs. Apparently, she’d inhaled it during an ‘act of love’, without actually realising it (how does this happen?). But hey, at least she was having safe sex.

Heart-Stoppingly Good Sex

A young guy and his girlfriend decided to get it on in his grandmother’s basement while she was out of the house. They grabbed a tube of what they thought was lubricant from her well-stocked medicine cabinet. Unfortunately it was nitroglycerin paste, a heart drug that can cause a potentially fatal drop in blood pressure. When Grandma came home, she found the couple unconscious, buck naked, and lying in a rather saucy position. An ambulance was called and they eventually came to after being given oxygen and fluids. So all ended well…other than the look on Grandma’s face!

A Hard Act to Follow

A 20-year-old man - reportedly healthy and sober at the time - was hospitalised with complaints of severe rectal discomfort. A digital examination revealed a hard, stone-like mass, and the patient soon admitted he’d been fooling around with his partner and they had decided to pour concrete mix into…erm…you know where. The concrete was removed and the patient discharged the following day. Moral of the story: don’t…just don’t —well, unless you require a statue for your mantelpiece that will be a feature of intrigue and horror for future house guests.

Not-So-Good Vibrations

Oh those naughty knickers hey! A 33-year-old Welsh housewife was reported to have passed out at a supermarket. The reason? She had been ‘overcome’ by the vibrations of a pair of Naughty Passion Pants she was wearing underneath her clothes. she collapsed against some shelves and banged her head. As she lay there, spectators reportedly could hear the undies still buzzing.

Just…Ouch!

Men with slightly small appendages — just be grateful for what you’ve got. One Malaysian man thought his wasn’t big enough and decided to take drastic action. His solution? Stick his dingaling into a welding nut and try to stretch it. Sadly, he got stuck, Forcing doctors to remove the top layer of penis skin to free it. Yikes!

Definitely the Wrong Tool for the Job

A couple in America decided to ramp up their vibrator by attaching it to a power tool. An electric saw in fact! Ooooooooh nooooooo! The woman had to be rushed to hospital after it cut clean through the plastic toy. Thankfully she made a full recovery and would be unlikely to try that again.

Gotta Have Some Hot Stuff

Ever heard about drunken idiots snorting chilli? We definitely do not recommend doing this, but apparently the burning sensation is painfully intense due to the sensitive skin on the inside of your nose, called mucous membrane, which also lines your lips, ears and…wait for it… the genitals! Well one couple inadvertently spiced up their sex life when the man came home from a night out eating spicy, hot food and then engaged in saucy bedroom antics with his lady, only to accidentally burn her sensitive parts with his tongue.

What’s Up Doc?

A young couple rushed to hospital with this story: During sex the woman had grabbed a medium-sized rubber ball and inserted it into her man’s back door. The ball had become lodged so high in his rectum that they couldn’t get it out. It turned out that the doctor could not either! The doctor paged a surgeon, but whilst waiting for him to arrive, the man began coughing. The ball came flying out of his butt with enough velocity to ping around the room and hit the surgeon right in the forehead just as he came through the door. (I don’t know about anyone else but this one totally cracks me up!)

Most sexual activity ‘comes’ with the risk of something going wrong. Yep, you read that right, there is no such thing as having perfect sex. Just don’t go to these extremes hey folks. Have you ever had a sex-related injury? Tell us about it in the comments.

5 Wild Sex Party Shindigs To Make You A Swinging Legend!

The thought of having a sex party can seem exciting and scary at the same time. For most of us, the idea of a sex party always seem fascinating and taboo, like something we shouldn’t do, but yet want to! It’s just like skinny dipping. What’s so great about jumping into a pool of water with no clothes on, surrounded by friends? The concept sounds crazy. But the sexual high it gives, well, that’s a big kinky rush, isn’t it?

Let’s get wilder and dive into the horny world of crazy sex parties! Here are 5 types of sexy shindig you can have at home, really make a splash with your guests and become a sexy party legend.

ANYTHING BUT CLOTHES PARTY

ABC parties are a really safe way to test the waters. You can dress up in anything you want, as long as you’re not wearing clothes. Plastic sheets, duct tapes, boxes, or anything that makes you look sexy and trashy at the same time are perfect attire for this kind of party. Anything but clothes parties are fun, and watching several other people dance around in attire that almost always falls off or reveals far too much can be a laugh and a loin arouser at the same time! Add a few cocktails and mixers, and the night will end with several people in bed.

ROLE PLAYING PARTY

Everyone dresses up as their favourite fictional character. You can even pick a theme like porn stars, anime characters, etc. But the only catch is that the attire has to be the sexiest outfit worn by the character. As long as everyone’s game for fun and not being prudish about the attire, the dance floor would be full of skimpily dressed people who’re just looking forward to a night of wild fun.

SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH A TWIST

You know the rules of a typical seven minutes in heaven game. A couple is randomly chosen after spinning a bottle on the floor, and the two of them get locked in a closet for seven minutes. But in this new couple’s version of the game, the couples sit together and spin the bottle. And two couples are selected to go into a tight space like a small bathroom and the lights are turned off. It may feel awkward for the first few minutes, but the pitch darkness will bring out the sexy side in no time! And if there are singles present at the party, the game could involve one couple and one single with each spin of the bottle.

PORN PARTY

This is a customisable party that can be planned depending on how you want it. If you have a few televisions at home, play a different porn movie in each television that’s placed in different rooms or in different parts of a big room. If you want something more cosy, invite a few friends over, share a few drinks together, and call all your friends into a room that’s cleared of all the furniture. Spread mattresses and blankets all over the floor of the room, turn off the lights and play a porn movie. The first fifteen minutes may seem tame, but wait a while, and the room will seem like it’s riding a wave of sexual frenzy.

ROMAN ORGIES

This is the biggest and the wildest kind of sexual party you can have, unless you’re talking kinky. But it’s also something most people aren’t comfortable with. If you and your partner are interested in having a full blown orgy with several other couples, then this may be the perfect answer for you. When you participate in an orgy, the sexual energy created in a room full of people indulging in sexual activities will definitely give you an orgasmic high *only if you’re into orgies*. And if you want to enjoy a roman orgy sex party, make sure you carry a lot of protection, especially if you and your lover are planning to stay up the whole night.

These 5 wild types of sex parties are great ways to test your sexual boundaries, and make sex more exciting. You can start slow with the first few and work your way down to the bolder ones if you’re left gasping for more! Enjoy!