We all get used to the occasional bruise, scratch and cramp when it comes to having a good time in the bedroom. They say ‘Love Hurts,’ but sometimes sex lands lovers in A&E. Prepare to cringe and crack up after reading these true, naughty stories. Rubber ball stuck where the sun doesn’t shine anyone? Behold, the wildest sex fails we’ve ever heard.
Wall-Breaking Sex
When a 440lb virgin decided to take things to the next level with his 110lb lover, things tragically ended with him accidentally driving her head right through the room’s sheet-rock wall. The two went to hospital where the female was ultimately told by doctors that she had a concussion. The couple stayed together for a few months after the incident, but have since called it quits.Safety First
A doctor in india was mystified when a female patient complained of having a serious cough, runny nose and fever for over half a year. She’d been put on various medications, but nothing seemed to help. So, fearing the worst, they ran some hospital tests…and realised she had a condom lodged inside her lungs. Apparently, she’d inhaled it during an ‘act of love’, without actually realising it (how does this happen?). But hey, at least she was having safe sex.Heart-Stoppingly Good Sex
A young guy and his girlfriend decided to get it on in his grandmother’s basement while she was out of the house. They grabbed a tube of what they thought was lubricant from her well-stocked medicine cabinet. Unfortunately it was nitroglycerin paste, a heart drug that can cause a potentially fatal drop in blood pressure. When Grandma came home, she found the couple unconscious, buck naked, and lying in a rather saucy position. An ambulance was called and they eventually came to after being given oxygen and fluids. So all ended well…other than the look on Grandma’s face!A Hard Act to Follow
A 20-year-old man - reportedly healthy and sober at the time - was hospitalised with complaints of severe rectal discomfort. A digital examination revealed a hard, stone-like mass, and the patient soon admitted he’d been fooling around with his partner and they had decided to pour concrete mix into…erm…you know where. The concrete was removed and the patient discharged the following day. Moral of the story: don’t…just don’t —well, unless you require a statue for your mantelpiece that will be a feature of intrigue and horror for future house guests.Not-So-Good Vibrations
Oh those naughty knickers hey! A 33-year-old Welsh housewife was reported to have passed out at a supermarket. The reason? She had been ‘overcome’ by the vibrations of a pair of Naughty Passion Pants she was wearing underneath her clothes. she collapsed against some shelves and banged her head. As she lay there, spectators reportedly could hear the undies still buzzing.Just…Ouch!
Men with slightly small appendages — just be grateful for what you’ve got. One Malaysian man thought his wasn’t big enough and decided to take drastic action. His solution? Stick his dingaling into a welding nut and try to stretch it. Sadly, he got stuck, Forcing doctors to remove the top layer of penis skin to free it. Yikes!
Definitely the Wrong Tool for the Job
A couple in America decided to ramp up their vibrator by attaching it to a power tool. An electric saw in fact! Ooooooooh nooooooo! The woman had to be rushed to hospital after it cut clean through the plastic toy. Thankfully she made a full recovery and would be unlikely to try that again.Gotta Have Some Hot Stuff
Ever heard about drunken idiots snorting chilli? We definitely do not recommend doing this, but apparently the burning sensation is painfully intense due to the sensitive skin on the inside of your nose, called mucous membrane, which also lines your lips, ears and…wait for it… the genitals! Well one couple inadvertently spiced up their sex life when the man came home from a night out eating spicy, hot food and then engaged in saucy bedroom antics with his lady, only to accidentally burn her sensitive parts with his tongue.What’s Up Doc?
A young couple rushed to hospital with this story: During sex the woman had grabbed a medium-sized rubber ball and inserted it into her man’s back door. The ball had become lodged so high in his rectum that they couldn’t get it out. It turned out that the doctor could not either! The doctor paged a surgeon, but whilst waiting for him to arrive, the man began coughing. The ball came flying out of his butt with enough velocity to ping around the room and hit the surgeon right in the forehead just as he came through the door. (I don’t know about anyone else but this one totally cracks me up!)
Most sexual activity ‘comes’ with the risk of something going wrong. Yep, you read that right, there is no such thing as having perfect sex. Just don’t go to these extremes hey folks. Have you ever had a sex-related injury? Tell us about it in the comments.
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